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Пронизая мнимость воплощений
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СЕКСТИНА
О том пропеть мне в этих строках нужно,
Что славным у людей пребудет вечно:
Как мудрость старцев — радостным и грустным,
Как запах елей — горестным и нежным,
Как юный стих — бесформенным и звучным,
Как древний грех — стезей святой и крестной.
Жизнь каждому дана для муки крестной,
Хоть нам познать ее не плотью нужно,
Но в свежести картин и песен звучных —
Ведь лишь они ведут от века в Вечность,
Чтобы хранить там бережно и нежно
Мятежников усталых образ грустный.
И пусть норой не весело, но грустно
Ступать, кляня свой труд, земной и крестный —
Разгладит камень, жар умерит нежность [89]
Той, для кого мне столько света нужно,
Что на Земле настал бы полдень вечный,
Когда бы смог стать светом космос звучный.
Я ведовством добыл бы слова звучность,
Но все слова в очах увидел грустных,
А сам грущу: и этот стих не вечен —
Всего лишь шаг в пути к вершине крестной,
И тьмы таких шагов мне сделать нужно,
Пока суровый труд не станет нежен.
Но человек не должен слишком нежно
Сливать свой голос с хором мира звучным —
Концертам звезд солист умелый нужен.
И лишь познавший смысл напевов грустных
Обрящет радость в этой жизни крестной —
Вассал любви, творец мелодий вечных.
Нет ничего достойней жизни вечной,
Как только дух, взыскательный и нежный:
Он наг и слаб, но перед казнью крестной
Хранит заветы чувств и мыслей звучных;
Поруганный, на мир глядит он грустно,
Но знает: час придет, и будет нужен.
Порой взять нужно в повитухи Вечность
Для песни грустной, где любовь и нежность,
Чтоб делом звучным долг исполнить крестный.
15-16.12.1975. [90]
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