На этом сайте вы можете:
- ознакомиться с материалами о НТС
- вступить или подтвердить свое членство в НТС
- отправить сообщение руководству НТС или администратору сайта
- оказать материальную поддержку работе Координационного Совета НТС
(2. «На запад за свой счет или на восток за казенный»)
В армии я хотел дожить до дембеля, служил ведь на китайской границе как раз в горячие времена Культурной революции. Поэтому неизменно выполнял все приказы, не обращая большого внимания на свою совесть. А на гражданке садиться мне не хотелось, поэтому диссидентом не был. Во-первых, я не такой смелый, ни жертвенный, как они; во-вторых, уже давно привык говорить и писать в стол, поэтому ничего нового после дембеля не произошло, внутренняя эмиграция была и осталась; и, в-третьих, я уже твердо знал, этому мать учила меня постоянно: успешно бороться против организации может только другая организация.
Права человека меня не интересовали, если рядом не было прав гражданина. К прямой демократии я относился, как это делали Сократ, Платон и Аристотель, не лучше, не хуже. К представительной — с явным пренебрежением, поскольку доверять депутатскому корпусу нельзя нигде, а держать его под постоянным контролем очень трудно. Так что в общем и целом торопиться мне было незачем и некуда. Я был один в своей внутренней эмиграции без радио, телевизора и газет — и неплохо себя чувствовал. В армии я начал писать свой первый роман, на гражданке его продолжил. К тому же во время армейской службы многому научился, выживая: прежде всего, наслаждаться всем, чем можно, но ни в коем случае не привыкать к удовольствиям, даже если они повторяются. Полностью победить свою природу никому не удается, но думать об этом часто — уже большая победа. Я сумел также, подражая некоторым своим сослуживцам-колхозникам (я им действительно благодарен), относиться к быту гораздо проще, чем раньше: например, мне приходилось, чтобы утолить голод, жевать насекомых, глотать червей, принимать собачатину и котятину за деликатес, лакать воду из любой лужи... А то, что я способен убивать, есть и спать рядом с трупами и стоять двое суток в человеческом дерьме по грудь — знал уже доподлинно.
Я собирался долго жить в своей уютной внутренней эмиграции, но мать еще до моего дембеля уехала во Францию, чтобы спасти сидевшего в польской психтюрме сына и моего брата Петра. Мой старший брат Михаил, оставаясь сталинцем, тоже в 1971 году засобирался на Запад. А я уезжать не стремился, если точнее, опасался. Я знал, что на Западе не сахар и что свобода, если она вообще существует, без хлеба с маслом никому не нужна.
Я считал, что у меня нет иллюзий, как, например, у моих друзей евреев. Но сегодня должен признаться, что они в большинстве своем пусть не сразу, но хорошо на Западе устроились, кто в Израиле, кто в Штатах (в Советском Союзе им такое даже не снилось). Один из моих лучших друзей юности Саня Барам уехал в Штаты, много лет работал вместе с женой, хорошо воспитал детей, отгрохал себе дом в Филадельфии, затем, собираясь на пенсию, купил еще один во Флориде, куда переехал в 2013 году, чтобы там в вечном лете дожидаться глубокой старости.
Было еще кое-что, тормозящее мое желание эмигрировать: в Париже песенкой Бреля (фальшивым голосом) никого не соблазнишь, рассказом о Кандинском восторга в глазах женщины не зажжешь, а красавцем меня назвать нельзя… Кроме того, я ведь писал на нашем великом и могучем, поэтому, думал я, что делать на Западе со своими творениями, если даже Бунин, получивший Нобеля, там бедствовал? Не лучше ли держаться от всей этой реальности подальше, интеллектуальный онанизм не так уж плох, в конце концов. Внутренняя эмиграция спокойна, ее нельзя покидать, а на хлеб можно всегда заработать... Решено, никуда не поеду...
Но за меня уже все решила советская власть: стараниями отца, давно женившегося по возвращению во Франции на молодой энергичной женщине, я оказался в списках президента Помпиду, когда он прибыл в Союз Советских обниматься с Брежневым. В 1972 меня вызвали чекисты:
— Нет, товарищ полковник, я не француз, я советский человек, был контужен китайцами, так что никуда я не поеду, мне на родине хорошо.
После часового разговора я услышал:
— Владимир Мечиславович, пора ехать. Выбирайте: на запад за свой счет или на восток за казенный.
Тот полковник хорошо подготовил свою фразу. После армии в лагерь? Нет уж... Франция мне сразу показалась милой.
Комментарии
ayankhatri126@gmail.com
Thank you because you have been willing to share information with us. we will always appreciate all you have done here because I know you are very concerned with our. Lebensmittelwarnung
ayankhatri126@gmail.com
The writer has outdone himself this time. It is not at all enough; the website is also utmost perfect. I will never forget to visit your site again and again. Gold Ankauf
ayankhatri126@gmail.com
This particular is usually apparently essential and moreover outstanding truth along with for sure fair-minded and moreover admittedly useful My business is looking to find in advance designed for this specific useful stuffs… slot
ayankhatri126@gmail.com
Only aspire to mention ones content can be as incredible. This clarity with your post is superb and that i may think you’re a guru for this issue. High-quality along with your concur permit me to to seize your current give to keep modified by using approaching blog post. Thanks a lot hundreds of along with you should go on the pleasurable get the job done. spinix
ayankhatri126@gmail.com
I would like to thank you for the efforts you have made in writing this article. I am hoping the same best work from you in the future as well. Thanks... joker123
ayankhatri126@gmail.com
I am always looking for some free kinds of stuff over the internet. There are also some companies which give free samples. But after visiting your blog, I do not visit too many blogs. Thanks. slotxo
ayankhatri126@gmail.com
Pretty good post. I just stumbled upon your blog and wanted to say that I have really enjoyed reading your blog posts. Any way I'll be subscribing to your feed and I hope you post again soon. Big thanks for the useful info. สล็อต
ayankhatri126@gmail.com
Pretty good post. I just stumbled upon your blog and wanted to say that I have really enjoyed reading your blog posts. Any way I'll be subscribing to your feed and I hope you post again soon. Big thanks for the useful info. betflix
kh
Superior post, keep up with this exceptional work. It's nice to know that this topic is being also covered on this web site so cheers for taking the time to discuss this! Thanks again and again! best credit card processing companies
kh
This was among the best posts and episode from your team it let me learn many new things. the atelier
The urge to gamble is so
The urge to gamble is so universal and its practice so pleasurable, that I assume it must be evil. – Heywood Broun doomovie hd
ayankhatri126@gmail.com
Thank you for taking the time to publish this information very useful! recover bitcoin wallet with private key
ayankhatri126@gmail.com
Friend, this web site might be fabolous, i just like it. Buy Chiappa Firearms RHINO 200DS 357/9MM 2″ BLK 6RD, Buy Chiappa Rhino 200DS
sample
Interesting website, i read it but i still have a few questions. shoot me an email and we will talk more becasue i may have an interesting idea for you. dark web links
ayan
Just wanna remark that you have a very nice web site , I like the layout it actually stands out. deep web
ayan
Thanks for taking the time to discuss this, I feel strongly about it and adore learning more on this topic. If possible, as you gain expertise, would you mind updating your blog with more details? It is extremely helpful for me. dark web links
sample
Great goods from you, man. I’ve understand your stuff previous to and you’re just extremely great. I really like what you have acquired here, really like what you’re stating and the way in which you say it. You make it entertaining and you still take care of to keep it sensible. I cant wait to read much more from you. This is really a wonderful website. dark web
I just now discovered your
I just now discovered your blog post and now I’m remember to start with followers. 10 ml
Paid phone search services
Paid phone search services usually go with access to unlimited lookups, discounted background and cell phone reports, and an advanced People Search. You can use the peop search application to find old classmates, long lost relatives, or former co-workers. PROSTADINE REVIEWS
ayan
Affordable tours… […]the time to read or visit the content or sites we have linked to below the[…]… affiliate marketing
PBN servies
YT to MP4 is a free online tool for rapidly converting YouTube videos to MP4 format. Your favorite YouTube videos may be downloaded and converted quickly and easily using our user-friendly platform. The best online video converting tool is YT to MP4, which provides high-quality conversions without the need for program installation YT to MP4
automatic sliding glass door bd
Oh my goodness! a fantastic write-up dude. Appreciate it Even so I am experiencing trouble with ur rss . Do not know why Struggling to join it. Is there any person obtaining identical rss problem? Anybody who knows kindly respond. Thnkx automatic sliding glass door bd
ayankhatri126@gmail.com
Thank you for taking the time to publish this information very useful! custom laravel programming atlanta
ayan
This is my first time i visit here. I found so many entertaining stuff in your blog, especially its discussion. From the tons of comments on your posts, I guess I am not the only one having all the enjoyment here! Keep up the excellent work. tippmix tippek
sample
An interesting discussion is worth comment. I think that you need to write more on this matter, it may not be a taboo subject but usually individuals are not enough to speak on such topics. To the next. Cheers google sheets
Cheers for this excellent. I
Cheers for this excellent. I was wondering whether you were planning of publishing similar posts to this. .Keep up the excellent articles! bandar bola
ayan
How is it that just anyone can publish a blog and get as popular as this? Its not like youve said something incredibly impressive –more like youve painted a quite picture above an issue that you know nothing about! I dont want to sound mean, right here. But do you definitely think that you can get away with adding some quite pictures and not really say anything? https://www.doctorzhivagobroadway.com/
it was a wonderful chance to
it was a wonderful chance to visit this kind of site and I am happy to know. thank you so much for giving us a chance to have this opportunity.. IKARIA LEAN BELLY JUICE
kh
Thank you for such a well written article. It’s full of insightful information and entertaining descriptions. Your point of view is the best among many. cairnhill 16
sample
I really like your article. It’s evident that you have a lot knowledge on this topic. Your points are well made and relatable. Thanks for writing engaging and interesting material. HACKER AVIATOR
ayan
Some truly nice stuff on this site, I love it. vegan glutenfree meal plan dubai
ayankhatri126@gmail.com
I was surfing the Internet for information and came across your blog. I am impressed by the information you have on this blog. It shows how well you understand this subject. backlinks kaufen
ayankhatri126@gmail.com
I have read your article, it is very informative and helpful for me.I admire the valuable information you offer in your articles. Thanks for posting it.. design agency
Insulation Grants
Pretty good post. I just stumbled upon your blog and wanted to say that I have really enjoyed reading your blog posts. Any way I'll be subscribing to your feed and I hope you post again soon. Big thanks for the useful info. Insulation Grants
ayankhatri126@gmail.com
Fabulous post, you have denoted out some fantastic points, I likewise think this s a very wonderful website. I will visit again for more quality contents and also, recommend this site to all. Thanks. best beard oil
hello sir
This is very interesting content! I have thoroughly enjoyed reading your points and have come to the conclusion that you are right about many of them. You are great. koinslot
sample
Immigration Lawyers… [...]the time to read or visit the content or sites we have linked to below the[...]… Reveravit Americano
nhariom574@gmail.com
There are different types wedding stage decoration ideas, we are all spoilt for choices. Best Wedding Stage Decoration Ideas for Indian Weddings.
http://latestweddingtips.com/latest-mariage-wedding-stage-decors/
ayan
Youre so cool! I dont suppose Ive read anything such as this prior to. So nice to seek out somebody by incorporating original ideas on this subject. realy appreciate beginning this up. this excellent website can be something that is needed on the net, a person after a little originality. helpful work for bringing something totally new towards internet! utopia mushroom Vancouver
sample
I have been exploring for a little for any high quality articles or blog posts in this kind of area . Exploring in Yahoo I ultimately stumbled upon this web site. Reading this information So i¡¦m glad to show that I have an incredibly good uncanny feeling I came upon exactly what I needed. I such a lot indubitably will make certain to don¡¦t forget this web site and give it a look a relentless basis. مهر مترجم رسمی
hello sir
Your article has piqued a lot of positive interest. I can see why since you have done such a good job of making it interesting. akun pro lasvegas
Regarding Blog Reviews
I read this post your post is so nice and very informative post thanks for sharing this post. I recommend Mahindra trucks.
ayan
This is the best blog for anyone who needs to find out about this topic. You understand so much its virtually laborious to argue with you (not that I really would need…HaHa). You undoubtedly put a new spin on a topic thats been written about for years. Nice stuff, just nice! passzív jövedelem
hello sir
Your blog has piqued a lot of real interest. I can see why since you have done such a good job of making it interesting. I appreciate your efforts very much. blossoms by the park
ayankhatri126@gmail.com
i read a lot of stuff and i found that the way of writing to clearifing that exactly want to say was very good so i am impressed and ilike to come again in future.. annyx
ayankhatri126@gmail.com
Nice post. I was checking constantly this blog and I am impressed! Extremely helpful information specially the last part I care for such info a lot. I was seeking this particular information for a very long time. Thank you and good luck. Gegensprechanlage
The content is utmost
The content is utmost interesting! I have completely enjoyed reading your points and have come to the conclusion that you are right about many of them. You are great, and your efforts are outstanding! Instructional Design Consulting
A thoughtful insight and
A thoughtful insight and ideas I will use on my blog. You have obviously spent a lot of time on this. Well done! questionnaire vs survey
I have to convey my respect
I have to convey my respect for your kindness for all those that require guidance on this one field. Your special commitment to passing the solution up and down has been incredibly functional and has continually empowered most people just like me to achieve their dreams. Your amazing insightful information entails much to me and especially to my peers. Thanks a ton; from all of us. Lets Keto Gummies Clicks
ayan
Simply a smiling visitor here to share the love (:, btw outstanding design . "Audacity, more audacity and always audacity." by Georges Jacques Danton. 검증된놀이터
Страницы
Добавить комментарий