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Марш миллионов
1. Листаю фотографии Марша миллионов, сейчас буду искать видеоролики, — спать пора, второй час ночи, но — какая-то зрительская жадность проснулась, придётся утолить, а то не усну. От зрелища толпищ — с каждым разом я чувствую это сильнее, — сквозит и свежит уличная весёлость; и снова жалею, что не был, не поблестел очками, не зевачил на улицах и площадях, не порыскал между ними, не пофотографировал.
2. При этом во мне: всё же — вяло шевелится нечто насупленное, неуклюже застенчиво патетическое — (некая тень, незлобно, смирно ютящаяся на краю моего социального сознания, — мой ветхий, давно вышедший в отставку по старости и выслуге лет, но всё ещё живой, — как его зовут? — трудно выговаривается, но: иначе не скажешь, — мой Патриотизм).
Старенький мой отставной патриотизм всё ещё ворчит потихоньку, а больше воздыхает нарочито шумно: что ж весёлого-то?
Собственно, — тучно-серо, бетонно-тягостно — удручающе это всё: тысячи новоленинцев и квазисталинцев вышли протестовать против засилья новосталинцев и квазиленинцев, которые цепко овладели нефтью и газом на территории Малоэсэсэра, и — не делятся. Между собой не делятся.
Большие советско-красные флаги, истошно грозящие с площадей огромным советско-красным знамёнам, реющим над Кремлём.
Какие-то разнообразные пёстрые кучки вынесли свои разноцветные многопартийные маленькие флажки — чтобы услужливо подпереть ими снизу советскую красноту.
Но — оказывается, — (вот — слово чести, даже не знаю, чем доказать свою искренность), — это: совсем не тоскливо, это — интересно и забавно: шутовские бои рабов между собой, софоклова пародия на политических гладиаторов.
Я — зритель-патриций, наблюдающий за ними ночью, на экране. Ничего горького на вкус я совсем не чувствую сейчас, вопреки традициям русско-великолитературной обязательной ностальгии. Правда.
Наверно — да, чуется даже холодный вкус незлобного презрения: я уже давно перестал быть советским, я — высвободился; и мне это было не так уж трудно. А они — не смогли.
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